Sunday, November 29, 2009

"You're different!!"

That's what he said to me yesterday and the day before yesterday. Hmm .. i forget exactly the time. but it's surprising me. Until today when he said that "i am different". I'm not the same Cantika i used to be. I don't know what to say or do. All i know I'm still the same Cantika used to love, notice and spoiled to him. I really don't understand........
I know, few days we had some problems. It got peak yesterday. It hurt me so much. That day, I was so tired of everything. Having so many assignments from college, my mom always angry everyday, my sisters became naughty, and my boyfriend lied to me .......
Sick and tired became one. I got my emotion. I got angry to him so much. I just knew that i didn't believe him anymore. and it made me think i wanted to break this relationship up. but i knew i still need him. i knew i still want him, and i knew i still love him ....
In the night, we talked about it all. We talked from his side and my side. Although that time i still wanted to break just for a while, he made me sure that i didn't need a break. Thank God, one of us still could think clearly.
Maybe i have my faith for him again right now. but today i found that i still doubt about him. God..... He's a god man; he's so patient facing the emotional one-Me, of course. i don't know. But i don't want to lose him. I'm so afraid he will NOT beside me again. Should i have a conditional like this ?? I don't understand more and more after he said that I'm different.

FuBee, please .. Tell me what i was like and what i am now. I need you so much, to be better than before ....

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Now I've found her

Now I've found someone who can make me happy. very difficult to find her, but when I found it, all have become very beautiful.
she taught me many things, ranging from behavior to attitude. she always made me smile. though I'm not long with her, but I always hoped my time with her would never have ended. generally I love her, I could never escape from herself. all that in her can always reach my attention. but I don't know why she was now, these days she likes to complain and got angry. sometimes I feel tired and can not stand the attitude. but my feelings always sincere that I can beat my ego. sometimes I ask in my heart, "is this love?" and my heart is always yelling, "whether true love really exist?". I will probably find the answers to all questions is in my heart. or maybe she would give me the answers to those questions. I'll never know. who would and who would do right now is just live my life with her and wish the way my life with her would never end. though the people are now shouting "Resurrection 2012 !!!!" but I don't care, I just throw my day with her love life. I never felt so far with her, despite the fact that the distance between my house and her house 24 miles, but I don't care, because this love has conquered all. I can only pray to Almighty God, "Lord, keep her heart is mine to keep, keep her body in order to remain able to hug me, keep her spirit to always go with my life and fill a void in my life, because she is the answer to all questions during this, a fragments of a puzzle is missing, now I've found that piece and I want her to be the last for me .... amien !!!!".
a message to my lover ....
"Love me when I had no heart, hate me when I give up, caring me when I was miserable, and take care of hearts that I have gave to you, keep it with all sincerity that is combined with spices honesty and loyalty in these relationships, I believe you like i believe this love for you, maybe too many flaws in me, but I hope, you can fill the gap, I love my true love .... Single greeting filled with love ... "Fubee" .. "

Anger Management

Guys, for you who ever had a relation with someone, must be face this situation = have different opinion. yay . in every relationship . relationship with lover, friends and even our parents !
i ever faced this situation with many people. parents, friends, lover and my sisters too ! hahahaha
but, when we got different opinion with others then we became angry, it didn't feel good !
these days, i had some problems with my FuBee. uh-oh, so complicated !
i won't write down the story. i just want to share what we did ..
firstly, i felt so angry. really. i was so emotional. i just want to get mad and yaaaah i thought it would overcome the situation. but i was so wrong. My FuBee got angry too. huhuhu. so sad to know it ! then we talked what we felt and what we wanted that time ..
before it, we controlled our emotion. that's the answer ! Control our emotion. If we followed our emotion, it would be the worst ! and what we need for controlling our emotion is patience !
patience plays crucial role, fyi ...
hmmm , maybe it sounds so cheesy but when we faced problem, we have to be patient. then we can control our emotion. if we got our emotion controlled, we could communicate well !
because communication is one way to overcome the problems .
hee .. am i right ? am i ? am i ? :D

Saturday, November 14, 2009

The Anniversary(s)

July 12, 2009
We celebrated our 1st month anniversary with FUN ! Look at our picture ! We saw movie at Movie Box. It was no romantic (just fun and had a lot of laugh!) because he still had something to finish. He needed some fun. It's OK. I supported him 100%

August 12, 2009
We celebrated our 2nd month anniversary with lunch. He gave me a flower . hee ..
He's so romantic , you know ! uh-oh ,, love him soooooo much !!

September 12, 2009
We celebrated our 3rd month anniversary with full of romance ! hahaha
It was the most romantic night i ever had. He gave me a love pillow and a white rose flower.

October 12, 2009
We celebrated our 4th month anniversary with dinner at Pizza Hut. My sister, Dinda joined us because she had to go to dentist! hee ..

November 12, 2009
Blew a candle was the way we celebrate our 5th month anniversary !
He bought a cake for us with "5" candle on it .

June 12 , 2009

This date . Something happened . It changed everything . My life, his life. Both of ours.
Began that day, i had someone to share everything with . Except bedroom of course ! hahahaha . Kidding ...

I forget about our conversation. I don't have a good memory, you know ! hee ..
but i remember that i said "I do" to him. After he had weeks to get closer to me, after i made sure that i had the same feeling, so the answer was "I do".

I do comfort around him
I do like him coz we can talk about almost everything !
I do sure he'll always make me happy
and I do really sure that "I LOVE HIM"

FuBee,, (i called him with this nickname)
thank you for everything
i love u soo much !
mmwaah :*

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

This Place

Do you see the hearts symbols ? it was the place i met him for the first time . I took this picture at Yos Sudarso Street, Yogyakarta. In the 3rd year of high school, I joined Ganesha Operation and He joined Yuan Study Centre. On the afternoon , about 5pm , after had classes from course . i forget who asked to meet first . That isn't important! hahaha . The important thing's i met him that time. we were shaking hands and telling our name . i said "cantika" and he said "adjie" . Then i walked to my jazzie and he used his silver horse. We went home. I went to Prambanan and he went to Magelang street. hee ..
Nothing's special that day. I felt so ordinary (although i ever had crush with him, i knew that he's chasing someone that time) and so did he. i think he felt sooooooooooooo ordinary too ! hahahaha :D
I never realized that i'll have relationship with him. So impossible ...

Saturday, November 7, 2009

i HEART him !!

I took this picture in his room. It was the first time i went to his home. and it was the first time i knew that my home was so far from his home. but it won't block our love
i HEART u so much, Adjie ... wish, hope n pray we'll be together forever and ever ;)

Delayed Love

Adjie Febrian Nugroho. I always remember this name. I knew and made friend with him since i was in high school. That time, i was crazy about chatting via mobile phone. The application named mxit. One day, there was a request named "AdJiE" in my mobile phone. I approved him. Day by day, we made friend and i had a crush on him. Unfortunately, i had boyfriend and he was chasing someone. So i walked my life just like usual. Until we passed high school and began university life.
Thank God, although we were from different society (in high school and in college), we never lose contact. Though i ever changed my mobile number. I don't know why, God's secret i think :)
In early 2009, i had some problems with my boyfriend (now, he becomes my ex!!), i needed someone to talk to. So, i looked for him to share some strories in a coffeshop.
Uh-oh, i confused that time, after spending hours together, i felt "click" on him. But i had to be faithful, right ? i delayed that feeling, then ....