Sunday, November 29, 2009

"You're different!!"

That's what he said to me yesterday and the day before yesterday. Hmm .. i forget exactly the time. but it's surprising me. Until today when he said that "i am different". I'm not the same Cantika i used to be. I don't know what to say or do. All i know I'm still the same Cantika used to love, notice and spoiled to him. I really don't understand........
I know, few days we had some problems. It got peak yesterday. It hurt me so much. That day, I was so tired of everything. Having so many assignments from college, my mom always angry everyday, my sisters became naughty, and my boyfriend lied to me .......
Sick and tired became one. I got my emotion. I got angry to him so much. I just knew that i didn't believe him anymore. and it made me think i wanted to break this relationship up. but i knew i still need him. i knew i still want him, and i knew i still love him ....
In the night, we talked about it all. We talked from his side and my side. Although that time i still wanted to break just for a while, he made me sure that i didn't need a break. Thank God, one of us still could think clearly.
Maybe i have my faith for him again right now. but today i found that i still doubt about him. God..... He's a god man; he's so patient facing the emotional one-Me, of course. i don't know. But i don't want to lose him. I'm so afraid he will NOT beside me again. Should i have a conditional like this ?? I don't understand more and more after he said that I'm different.

FuBee, please .. Tell me what i was like and what i am now. I need you so much, to be better than before ....

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